Sunday 1.3.09 part deux

Getting irked and going to probably burn some bridges.

Why I continue to take pictures is something that is always on my mind. I like to do it so I probably should not think about it so much. Perhaps the reason, or one of the reasons that I actually think about it is due to what I read on other portfolios from other photographers. Some of these people I know personally, most I do not. Every so often I am interested in reading what these people have to say. I’m interested in whether or not what they say, usually something very deep and thought provoking, measures up to the images that they are producing. All of it makes me more aware of if I sound like I’m full of shit or full of myself in my own little introductions here and there.

Inner Beauty and the ability to see it…

Many photographer portfolios mention something like this. They, unlike anyone else, have an uncanny ability to see deep inside you and somehow capture your soul for the world to see. They are wizards. They are magical. They see with eyes that no one else uses. Maybe they have a magical camera. If you look like a lump of shit they will mold you into a goddess. It’s just that easy. All you have to do is show up. Of course, most of these people shoot only for Vogue, Playboy, Elle or some other popular and much viewed publication. They will find your true self and give you that break you have been looking for. After that, your life will never be the same. You will in fact be a top model and people will usually just throw cash out their door to you as you pass by.

Sounds good, no?

I could never ever measure up to that. I never will. I never will claim to do that. My best bet is to tell you that I’ll try real hard to not make you look fat. I can photoshop out those bruises on your legs and the bags under your eyes. I think you got those bags staying up late reading some bullshit words from those magical photographers. I’ll try to get my lighting right. I’ll remove that huge wrinkle in your back when I tell you to turn and show me your butt and your chest at the same time. There’s some real magic.

One guy writes this: (name) has emerged on the international scenes with a major burst of energetic innovation, and cutting edge talent in the fine Arts of Studio Photography. Our up close and personal promise to maintain the elegance, grace, and double dignity you so richly deserve is the cornerstone of our novelty approaches and attentive attitudes towards gaining the ultimate of trusts…yours.*

How can one compete with that? Don’t even try. Sell your camera equipment right now. Don’t even ask for a fair price, just get rid of it. Better yet, just go place it on the curb or in our car parked in a driveway in Green Bay and hope like hell someone walks off with it.

Or something like this: I love to capture natural physical beauty, but I also strive to capture the inner beauty and personality of every Model/Client I collaborate with…

Is this what we do? I somehow never feel the power. I do try to think about what I am doing or going to do, but then I read things like the “dirty little secret of photography” is to shoot in a “spray and pray” style. This is where you shoot a bazillion images and hope you get something to work with. Kind of makes one feel like there is nothing to it. Just hope something turns up. Certainly SOMETHING will work. My experience has shown me that for some people, if they suck and you do the spray and pray thing, you usually get a crapload of pictures that suck. Perhaps some of that is my fault. Ok, I’ll take credit for some of it. I should have taken one or two hundred more images because that’s where the good stuff would have been.

Until my next rant…

* If you wrote that for English class in 7th grade, you might get some extra points for throwing as much bullshit into one sentence as possible. If I was your English teacher and you wrote that to impress me I’d first throw up, then take you out back, break your pencils and kick you in the nuts.

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