Dandelions in back of the building. I guess I should go rake out the rock deposits and divots from recent garage tearing down events before attempting to mow what one client described as a slummy Chicago back alley. It is what it is. Some rocks, three or five blades of grass and some weeds. And, these little yellow dudes.
I killed a couple hours and however many brain cells one uses in that amount of time last night. I watched a movie called “A Dangerous Man”, starring Steven Seagal. IMDB posts the following review/info: After serving 6 years for a crime he didn’t commit, Shane Daniels is released from jail with an apology from the State of Arizona. Within hours of his freedom, he unluckily bears witness to a cop killing by Chinese mafia who have a kidnapped girl and a bag of drug money. In this action packed thrill ride, Shane agreed to help the girl to get her uncle back to safety. To to that he gets some help from Russian mafia, whose boss owes him a favor for saving his son from the Chinese cop killing action mentioned above. Written by Andre Lipp.
Over the years I have watched a few Steven Seagal films. I recently listened to the Nick Digilio show on WGN where he ripped Seagal while discussing “Steven Seagal, Lawman” on A&E. I had to take a look. Digilio’s commentary on just about anything is pretty damn funny. Describing Seagal as being about “eight hundo” and trying to jump fences with his little New Orleans task force made me just about split a gut.
So, back to “A Dangerous Man”… The review above did not mention that he was saving a girlfriend from some dude which leads to the crime he did not commit. The dude winds up dead, Seagal gets blamed for the death. 6 years later the now very grouchy and hardened Seagal is released after DNA evidence shows him to be innocent of the death of the dude. The state also offers him $300,000.00 for his time served, which he refuses. He says he only wants his life back. Oh yeah… I forgot to mention that the girlfriend he saved had sent him a “dear Steven Seagal” letter. Now, he is extra grouchy, hardened and missing his nubile 17 or so year old girlfriend. Flashbacks of this naked young thing grinding on him from time to time seem to ease his pain as he pounds down bourbon.
I have to wonder just how in the hell they come up with these story lines. My guess is that they take a whole bunch of Steven Seagal-isms and throw them into a hat along with drug dealers, crappy warehouses, guns, knives, various mafias, GMC SUVs, Asia, really hardened guys that are the only people you ever run into and have to teach a lesson even when you really did not want to… and, you were in “special forces” and are a killing machine. We shake up the hat and pull out these ideas, from there we build a story. Seagal remains completely untouched in this film. For a now older and fatter guy, he never tires. I guess it must be all of that magical Asian stuff that he has learned through the years. That plus a lot of editing.
I would only recommend this film if you are drunk, don’t care, want to see a bunch of people kicking the shit out of a bunch of people, or just want to laugh at the stupid predictability of the Steven Seagal formula. If you happened to spend money on this piece of shit in the theater… man, you got screwed.
And finally, just for fun…