So… I fell down yesterday. I wish I could say I hit the ground doing something completely awesome. The X-ray tech at the emergency room was not buying my story about saving a stranded baby from a herd of stampeding buffalo so I had to go with the truth… I tripped and fell. I landed on my shoulder and it seems as if there’s also a nice lump on the back of my head. I knew right away that this was not a good thing… especially when I have stuff to do that requires two functioning arms.
I got in the truck and drove over to the clinic. They took me in, took my blood pressure and temp. The new Physician told me that she had only dealt with this kind of thing once before. ( I was thinking it was just dislocated and that they’d just have to snap it back in place) She consulted with someone else and they decided that I should go to another clinic or emergency room. All the while, making a funny “Oh my god, look at your fucked up shoulder” face. They stuck a sling on my arm and then told me that I could not drive there… they’d be giving me drugs and I would not be able to drive home. My choice was find someone or ambulance. I opted with find someone.
I went home and called my wife. I really hate to make a call where I explain how dumb I am. She would soon be on her way. About an hour later, we were in the Stoughton emergency ward. Everyone there seemed to give me the same “oh my god…” face. This sort of bothered me as I figured they see a lot of stupid things people do to themselves – more often than most of the rest of us.
We somehow peeled off the shirt and someone gave me a shot to ease the pain.
I went for X-rays… A doctor told me I had a grade 4 ACL complete shoulder separation with torn ligaments. since it was now late in the afternoon, I would not be able to consult with a Surgeon. So, he shot my shoulder with some other concoction to “maybe” get me through the night. Then, a trip to Wag’s for some other drugs. When we got to the drive through drug place, I started to feel pretty sick. We placed the order and then had to go get some gas… then through a McDonald’s drive though so my wife could grab something… it was quite later now and she needed to eat something or she was going to feel miserable herself. One of us miserable is enough at one time.
I had to get out of the car at that point, thinking I was going to hurl and not wanting to do this in the car. She was concerned about this… I figured the car was going slow enough where I could jump out. It was. I was ok. Then, back at the Wag’s I did lose it. I’m guessing it was a wonderful show for the people coming into the drug drive thru.
I made it overnight and then this morning had to modify my sling a little to keep my hand up. I go see a Surgeon person at 1:30.
Here’s the quick follow up…
I had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon this afternoon. Earlier this morning my wife had completely arranged for us to pick up copies of the X-rays from yesterday’s Stoughton trip. This was all approved at 8:30 this morning and an appointment was set in Madison for 1:30. We arrived at Stoughton to pick up the copies of the X-rays at about 12:25. Nothing had been copied or prepared. Figures. Ok, so we’ll wait a bit. 15 minutes later, she handed us an envelope and off we went. The Docs in Madison informed me that Stoughton had accidentally sent the originals. Otherwise, I would have been able to show you the inner me.
They looked things over and told me that it was a Grade 3 AC (not ACL as I previously stated and not grade 4 as they thought yesterday) and this would hurt like a bitch for a while (12 weeks) and then get better… no surgery needed. They also told me that this bone will always remain sticking up from my shoulder. Not as cool a reminder as rope marks but something I’m sure I can make up some good story about in the future. I’m back, I’m sucking it up and moving forward… a little slower than usual for a bit.
Of course, I had to have my wife take a picture. The Doc and her trainee wondered what I was talking about when I said I have to update my fans, this was also after she told me my modeling days might be behind me. We laughed a bit and then mentioned some fetish work. I suppose they broke out the Google right after we left.