Wednesday 12.15.10

About 1 gazillion years ago…

When I was in one of Mr. Hatfield’s English classes, it was common to have some paper due at some point in the future. This was something above and beyond the normal every day stuff we were doing. We had to pick some topic and then have a rough draft completed by a certain day. Usually, the day the rough draft was due, I had absolutely nothing done. I would make it to class, whip out my notebook and scribble anything that popped into my head in the most illegible handwriting possible. I needed to fill a page or make it look like I had written a certain number of words. I would try to make the first line or two resemble something that had to do with my topic – the rest was just shit. This worked every time.

When it came to writing the actual paper, it was always done on time and somehow I did fairly well in English class. Way back then I knew the difference between a pile of shit and the real finished work. At the time I thought I was pulling one over on him. Perhaps if the final grades were lower he would have let on that he knew exactly what I was doing. Or, maybe he never knew. In the end, I knew. Prior to those days I had an eighth grade teacher who absolutley busted me in class one morning for doing something similar. She painted my notebook with red ink while she stood next to my desk. I felt pretty bad about the whole thing and made an effort to 1. do better and 2. not get caught doing this anymore. It was apparent to me that when writing something you needed to do it a certain way, or at least in a way that make some kind of sense.

Which brings me to my frustration over reading internet forum post responses. I can figure out most of it. The ZOMGs and the texting kind of writing that goes on… I get that stuff. What I don’t get is how people spell, which is for shit most of the time and the all time kick-me-in-the-nuts champion of every comment made: The Disqualifier. Maybe it should be known as a legitimizer.

IMHO. In my honest opinion or in my humble opinion. Do people feel the need to write this to make things sound more honest or humble? Does more honest or humble make what they wrote any more accurate? No. If they did not write IMHO would it be dishonest or egotistical?

Honestly. Same as above. Why bother? “Honestly, I think you look like a bitch.” What a waste of keystrokes. You could have summed it up with “Bitch.” Adding honestly means you are really sorry you have to tell this person she is a bitch but that you are just being honest. “Not calling you a bitch would be dishonest” would be another way to go.

Just My 2 Cents. Buddy, 2 cents won’t get you very far these days. You responded to someone’s post with your most carefully thought out reply based on your own personal knowledge of the subject and then threw in the disqualifier… Just my 2 cents. Is what you know worth that much? Is it worth a whole lot more? Let’s say you are some college grad responding to a post. Private nonprofit four-year colleges charge, on average, $27,293 per year in tuition and fees. If you go all four years that comes to $109,172.00. If I had spent that kind of money wouldn’t it be more accurate to add “just my $109,172.00” to whatever dribble you write in response?

If what we want to do is say SOMETHING because we have to say SOMETHING and we don’t want people to hold us to what they say, why don’t we just say: “The following is my opinion. I may or may not know anything about what I am about to say but because the internet makes it so easy to look like I might know something and I simply can’t keep any opinions to myself, here is my response.” Ok, much too long.

It seems to go back to the crap I was doing in school, making it look like I was actually writing something when I was just filling a page with shit. Evidently, no one else was busted for this behavior.

Summing it up: IMHO I honestly don’t know why these bitches have not learned to just answer the question without all the extra crap. ZOMG!

Just my two cents.

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