Thursday 5.5.11

Continuing around the clock TEAM coverage of the death of Osama Bin Laden… continues.

What we know: A stealth US government operation snuck into Pakistan (who had claimed there was no OBL in Pakistan) where they shot and killed Osama Bin Laden. The story kind of evolves as more info comes out… he was armed, he was not armed, he might have been going for a weapon. We have pictures and video. We will not release the pictures and video. Information gathered to eventually shoot down OBL may or may not have been obtained by torturous methods of interrogation. In the end, still dead.

What we don’t know are things like how he decorated his compound in the 6 years he may have been there. Was his number 5 wife wearing some sheet off the rack or was it some designer label? You know, all the cool trivial stuff that also seems to be ridiculously important to people at times.

We will always have a lot of questions.

It occurred to me as I was making myself breakfast this morning that Al Qaeda just may have another plan. It will take a while but eventually It will probably kill me. I’m pretty sure that they must be the diabolical maniacs who design these “easy open/re-sealable” packages. Example 1. The bacon package stated “Peel Apart” at the top of the package. I was sure not to have wet or greasy fingers when I made the attempt. Still, I failed. It took me untold extra moments to get that sucker opened. I was seconds away from grabbing the scissors. Example 2. The fucking shredded cheese. Instructions: tear off top of bag and then re-seal as needed. Right. Damn near impossible.

Eventually, someone will find my frustrated-slumped-over-dead carcass on the kitchen floor. There will be unopened packages of something on the counter. Al Qaeda wins.

Back to the OBL “death”… notice how the news media keeps referring to it that way? “Death of” is kinder and gentler than “killing of” or “riddling his body with bullets and finally shooting him in the eye.” No, the media needs to be careful. Not that I in any way support anything that OBL or Al Qaeda have done – I do not. It strikes me as curious though… 10 years ago when these dick heads flew jets into buildings we were completely horrified. Even more horrifying were the images of people from some other country rejoicing in the streets, shooting into the air, burning OUR flag.

How many of us thought we would never ever take the low road and act like that? If you have a rat in the building, you kill it. You plan for it, you get and set a trap, you use poison or maybe you even shoot it. In the end you kill it because it needs to be done. After that, you don’t dance in the streets and high five people or make a big deal out of it. You know you have done what was needed and you keep an eye out for more rats.

Perhaps the overwhelming joyful response is not only that we heard OBL was snuffed. Maybe we all can let out some kind of sigh of relief or feel that finally after 10 years we get – something out of this. There finally is a pay off. In all of the acts of terror SINCE 911, Bin Laden was involved in one that we know of. He was laying low and living the suburban life in a military retirement area just down the street from the military academy. Sure, he was still the “figurehead” of the snake but dude… the guy had 5 wives to deal with. THAT probably takes a lot out of you.

I know we will never go back to the way some things were 10 years ago. We will have extra security and screening at airports and events. Getting in and out of the country will be tougher. More and more private information will have to become public information in order for us to continue the war on terror. The military will continue to be well funded while public programs for people less fortunate will suffer.

The President places a wreath at ground zero. A symbolic gesture, I suppose with the “death” of Bin Laden it now somehow closes a chapter or brings it to an end. It does not. This will continue. It will not make any difference to those people out there who will remain as fanatics for their cause – be they here or somewhere else. The threat of “we will hunt you down if it takes forever” will become a promise of ever lasting fame.

We killed the rat. Move on. There will be other rats.

In other rants, our corruption of the English language. I know, right?

That is it right there – that phrase: “I know, right?” So when in the hell did this become the thing to say? I just got off the phone with my daughter. I had been thinking about JUST THIS PHRASE all afternoon and how I find it to irritate me, almost as much as un-openable food packages that tell me they are easy to open. SHE, used this very phrase. It takes me about a split second to understand how to use it as well as when, where and why you would, but it is still just dumb.

Internet research tells me that it possibly came from a line from the 2004 movie Mean Girls. I must have missed that one. Let’s give it a whirl here…

Me: I can never open these damn food packages. They SAY they are easy to open and I STILL can’t manage to get them opened.

You: I know, right?

Me (in my mind): what the fuck did you just say? That makes absolutely no sense at all. You are making a statement and asking a question at the same time. What is it that you know? You know that these packages can’t be opened? You know they lie to you right there on the package?. Are you asking me if it is right or wrong to know what you know? Is it that you know that “I” can’t get these opened and you are mocking me? Just what the hell did you mean? Are you self conscious about answering me in an incorrect fashion and ALSO saying “I know” instead of “I agree and understand your ongoing frustration with the food packaging industry”…?

Me (reality): No response. I’m dumbfounded by your response.

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