Saturday 10.15.11

Occupy Wall Street…

It has been about 7 months since I attended some of the Madison protests. Today there was another one in Madison in keeping with the now global protests on the widening income disparity. In a nutshell, that is it… the widening income disparity. 1% of the people in the world make more than the entire remaining 99%. 1% of the people of the world control the other 99%. Some people don’t like this math.

Thinking about all of this as I read about it or watch reports about it on the news, it seems as if sometimes some of the people protest to protest and don’t have a firm understanding of what any of it means. I’m not sure that I do either. I’ve always thought that if these politicians would just get to the point when they are trying to make a point, we could all save a lot of time and go find something to eat. But no, they have to speak in words that may or not mean what they say or have anything at all to do with the original topic. The unfortunate result of listening to these people fuck with our language is that everyone else begins to speak the same way – and in the end we are supposed to understand what is said and meant. Based on what we THINK we heard and understood, we are expected to act or react. I remain confused.

There was a speaker in Madison today who made the following statement:

“If we don’t learn to walk and chew gum at the same time, we will be in an awful pickle.”  Really…? Suppose we examine what this means. Evidently, we have been lacking in our ability to learn an important skill: walking and chewing gum at the same time. I can walk. I’ve probably been doing it since I was around 1 year old. Gum probably came later. I don’t really recall when I was introduced to the fine art of gum chewing although I do remember not being able to blow bubbles for quite a while… yet, I was able to explain the theory of blowing bubbles with gum to others with satisfactory results. There they would go… happily blowing bubbles as they walked home and I would remain unable to do the very thing I had just explained. Later in life, I would overcome this obstacle.

If I do not learn to do both of those things at the same time, I will be “in an awful pickle.” Okay, I don’t know why not being able to multi-task those things puts me in that place. I know I’m not a very huge person but I know I’m much larger than most of the pickles I’ve encountered in my lifetime. How would I fit inside one of those pickles – even the really large ones you get on a stick are still too small. And then, why is it an awful pickle? Why not a regular pickle? Why not a really delicious pickle?

In reality, this guy was using cliché phrases to express a point. This can be good or satisfactory or a unique and humorous way to make a point but it also could mean anything about anything. Why don’t you just say what you really mean?

“If we don’t learn to walk and chew gum at the same time, we will be in an awful pickle.”

1. The economy is in poor condition due to the fact that the mega rich control the rest of us. If we don’t do something about this, we will suffer more while they continue to manipulate the rest of us. Our will to grow and prosper on our own will diminish and we will be at the mercy of a select group of individuals.

2. If you don’t perform the correct amount of foreplay during sex, the entire experience may not be as delightful as it could have been for those involved.

3. Waiting to make coffee after you have already made bacon and eggs could result in your breakfast becoming unpleasantly cool while waiting for the coffee to brew.

4. I did not learn to say what I meant so instead, I spoke in vague random terms and phrases. The result was: no one knew what I was talking about.

5. I did not learn how to walk while chewing gum. I could do both, but not at the same time. I was doing fine with the walking part, then I attempted to chew gum. I fell over, scraped my knee and ripped my jeans. The shock of this also sent me over a railing, down a flight of stairs and into an open vat of giant rancid pickles.

See, it could mean anything and everything. Please speak clearly. Well, speak clearly to me. If I understand what you mean then I can rephrase it to someone else. I could tell them:

In order for you to get a leg up and not beat around the bush while speaking off the cuff, I invite you to let your hair down and face the music. At the end of the day, you’ll be fit as a fiddle.

Now you understand exactly what I mean. Congratulations.

3 responses

  1. jon

    That was a MoveOn.org rally, not an Occupy Madison rally. Though, Occupy Madison’s encampment is adjacent to the Capitol.

    October 17, 2011 at 9:22 pm

  2. jsvexperimental

    Ahh… I stand corrected. Either way, if we don’t learn to walk and chew gum at the same time, we’ll find ourselves in an awful pickle. That, or up some shit creek without a paddle. Winter is coming so being in a creek full of frozen shit would really be an awful pickle. Thanks for the correction.

    October 17, 2011 at 9:28 pm

  3. Scott Ellington

    I really hope you’ll reconsider running for office, with scissors; on the Cut the GoddamnedFucking Bullshit ticket.

    December 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm

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