My mother died in 1996. Her neighbors called me one day to say that her mail had been piling up and that I should maybe check on her. These calls were not new, it seemed like something was going on at Mom’s every once in a while that I had to check on. This time, I found her several days old body slumped over in the bathroom. Seeing a dead person was not new to me since I had a friend whose Grandparents owned the funeral home just up the street. I had viewed a few deceased people previously. Seeing your Mom in that condition was a little different. I went into “gotta keep cool and be in control” mode. I called all the right people, she was removed and taken for an autopsy and then whatever other prep work was needed for a cremation and funeral. I dealt with it.
One of the reasons I got through it, I think, is that she showed me that sometimes in life you have to do some nasty shit whether you like it or not. You just do it. Another thing Mom showed me was that I should have some respect for people. Being a male, I should have respect for females. Now, this probably sounds all weird and twisted coming from some dude who ties up and photographs women in that condition. I have wrestled with the idea that the example I set is visually confusing. How can someone who takes pictures of some woman in an obvious predicament have any respect for them? The quick answer to that is that you can’t understand it. The correct answer is that you DON’T understand it. There is a big difference there and you should read that over a couple more times to let it sink in.
The other day I posted some words about a local photography workshop. They were not positive words. In the post, I described two separate events told to me by two separate women in two separate years. The stories were almost identical. In the end, these women felt they had been violated. I did not name names. There are probably a shit ton of people out there who I can not defend in any way, people who are in some way abused or violated in a situation as I had described. In this case, I know both of the people and have absolutely no reason to doubt what they told me. The whole thing made me feel like I should say or do something about it in some way. I figured that based on the amount of people this person has worked with, eventually I’d find someone who can actually put a “do not recommend” on their profile. Then I’d find another, and then more. Little by little, the word will get out and it will become more difficult for him to find participants on both sides… models and photographers. Their association with him and what he has to offer will simply not be worth it. According to my blog records, several people have now read the post making me believe that he is not as far under the radar as he thinks.
Sexual assault usually goes unreported. There are many reasons for this. I am making the assumption that this individual is counting on stats like that. I also considered a couple of other things after posting what I wrote last Sunday…
1. Maybe this guy will back off. Maybe some people will decide not to attend one of “his” workshops. Maybe some girl will not be violated.
2. Putting any thoughts on the subject out there for him to read would cause him to re-think his game plan and allow him to become more stealthy about it. He would plan more carefully and continue to do that thing he does. This one bugs me.
I figured there would be a backlash of sorts. I received several messages wondering about this and a few who agreed with what I said. Tonight, I received a message from the guy himself. I’m posting it “as is” …
I just want to to know that I am fully aware of your blog and your email to my workshop model. That constitures malicious gossip, slander and libel,all punisable by law. I demand an immedaiate cease and desist and an apology and deletion of the content of that blog!. You do not know me, have never attended any of my events yet behave in such a disgusting manner that is beyong even comprhension.
I provide valuable paying opportunities to many models thoroghot the uS, hold events in FLA, AZ and even Mexico.I give accurate nformation to upcoming models and portfolio development for models that are seeking to make a “paying” career. I also help thenm network with otehr photogrpahers and models throughout the US.Since you are just a local area “hobby” guy , you are really not in a position to really be of significant help to models so you are “jealous”?WTF do you do and how do you have time for such stupidity?
I assure you that I take any and all legal measueres necessary to correct this if necessary. Do not make the mistake of my seriousness of this.
BTW, Were you aware that several of the models listed by you are into “Adult Work”….That they wanted “Erotic Images”.Also that I had actually recommended you to a few models to work with you in the past . Yours was a name I passed along to xxxxx(name withheld) as well as a couple of other in the Madison area. Even a few out of area that will be coming here soon.
You have made an adversary, which is not a good thing!
So, there it is. I considered ringing the piss out of my underwear but then I realized I had not actually pissed myself.
Please allow me to make a point or two about erotic images. First, erotic is in the mind of the viewer. For some, it could be legs spread with 50 feet of cock jammed in there… for others it could be nothing more than a look in the eyes or the subtle curves of a shoulder. Who knows what it really is? Most likely, you know it when you see it… whatever that means to a person. Being a photographer is not simply recording whatever the hell is happening in front of you, you direct the shot as well. You may have to direct a model but you also have to direct yourself and know what the image will be or could be and how you can get some kind of artistic reaction. Some of these girls do “erotic” work, sure… but that does not mean you have the right to treat them with disrespect and can just go ahead and use actions instead of words to direct the image.
No names were named. No models were listed. I’m more than happy to talk to the law and get something on paper. There will be a record of what I say, even if I lose. Consider that one when some of the models do their due diligence prior to signing on to one of those workshops.
Looks like I’m getting sued, folks. As he stated, what I wrote ” constitures” malicious gossip, slander and libel, all “punisable” by law.” It has been way too long since I “constitured” anyone… and if I did I probably asked if it would be ok – out of respect for that person.
I think my dead Mom just high-fived me.