Saturday 6.16.12

Muffin Top.

Americans are getting fatter, so the experts say. Cheap, quick and tasty foods are available everywhere. It has become one of the number one health issues of our time.

I wanted in on this. Seriously. For those of you who are or have been on the upper end of the weight scale (pretty funny, huh?)… I have been on the lower end. Always scrawny. Now, after more than 50 years of “geez, you look sick… would you like something to eat?” I have begun to fill out. Being a skinny guy has issues. Clothes don’t fit skinny guys either. Skinny guys may have to look in the tall and skinny BOYS department to find something to wear. Usually, the cost of kids clothing is a little less but then again, I don’t need to look like some rapper/skateboarding dude either. A belt is ALWAYS needed.

Several weeks ago I became aware of some more frequent headaches, so we thought we should check it out. Could be a number of things. The doctor thought it could be an allergy or might have something to do with my shoulder crunching from a couple years ago. I started taking some meds for these things. I also went out and got new glasses – I’m up to “muli-vision” lenses now (tri-focals). And, I’ve been seeing a chiropractor. The result? Headaches are less but I’m gaining weight.

This is a season of firsts for me. For the first time ever, I went to put on some summer shorts when things warmed up and realized that they were damn snug… like me at 10 trying to put on something from when I was 8. I joked about it a little which resulted in this response: “maybe you should start going to the gym?” I decided that even though going to the gym was probably a great idea, I was curious to see where this would go. I’ve never been a fat guy – ok, fatter guy. Today, one of my daughters dropped off some Father’s day stuff, which included a new pair of shorts. I tried them on and modeled them. They actually felt pretty good but when I asked for a response, I was told I had a muffin top.

A muffin top! Me! No shit?

Gaining weight (for me) is kind of cool. The uncool part of it is where I am gaining the weight… my lower stomach and lower back. What the hell? Maybe I do need to hit the gym. Or, maybe I start to look like some mobster guy but I don’t ever remember any mob names like “Jimmy the muffin top Smith” or “Billy two tummies.”

I’ll waddle over here to the keyboard at a future date to update you on this.

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