Monday 4.15.13

Sparky. Our dog. A Jack Russell with long legs. 14 or so years old – not exactly sure as he was a rescue dog (we rescued him) and there never was a specific birthday.

When it is over 40 degrees, he likes to live outside. He will come in at night but is anxious about missing whatever kind of nocturnal activity goes on in the back yard… so he needs to be there. When it is raining or especially during a thunderstorm, he wants in.

After listening to him throw himself at the back door several times, I decided I should bring him in last night. He was happy to be in the house. I had placed the gate at the bottom of the stairs so he would not run up and eat the cat food out of the cat’s dish. Sparky is about 23 pounds and for some reason thinks he will never eat again. There will never be a next meal. So, eat what you can whenever you can. He could eat an entire bowl of dog food and then act as if he’ll perish if you don’t give him a taste of whatever you are eating… then clean out the cat dish. This does not mean he’ll eat dog food whenever it is in the dish… no, he usually does that best when it is like 2:00 am.

He’s in the house. He knows we are all going to bed. I bring in the dish that holds his food and water and place that in the usual spot in the bedroom as well. I go to bed. I do this knowing that I’m not really going to bed because it is going to take Sparky a while to calm the fuck down. First, drink some water. He starts with about 125 to 140 licks of water then eats some dry dog food. Understand that this food and water WAS outside and completely available prior to coming in the house. There is also another water dish out there AND it was raining out beyond the comfort and dryness of the dog house and back porch roof. Still… this is the time to drink. After drinking and eating a little, he jumps on the bed and wants attention. He’ll lay down but his body is still going 80 miles an hour. There must be some petting now. After that, he might stand up and spin around 4 or 5 times and wind himself into a ball for a while – and be somewhat still. Don’t let this fool you. Soon he is up again… pacing back and forth until he decides to jump off and do some more drinking. This is usually followed by sniffing every square inch of sniff-able floor space in the bedroom – Something that  I’m sure has not really changed since the last time he was in here.

Now, it is time to pee or go out and check other backyard activity. I get up and groggily offer to take him out. This usually results in him looking at me like I must be kidding… did I not see it is raining out there? Okay, so back to bed. For a while. Now he is not kidding… he wants to really go out. I know this because he has perched himself over my head and starts the heavy breathing/whine thing that he does. I ask him if he needs to go out – he bolts off the bed and waits for me to open the bedroom door. We get to the back door and get hooked up. He takes a few steps off of the porch and becomes distracted by the pine tree, realizes it is raining and forgets to take a piss. I go out on the porch and tell him to get out there and go pee. Sometimes he does.

Back in the house, back in the bedroom, back on the bed. Now he is ready to lay down. I start to feel the bed vibrate with kind of a rolling/swaying motion. He has started to lick something. A paw, a leg, his crotch. “Knock it off”, I say. He does for a bit. Then he starts again. I stop him again. The rolling motion of the bed and the sound of the slurpy, wet licking is kind of miserable. Eventually he stops or so I think. He’s is up and off the bed. This time he decided to crawl under the bed. There’s a bunch of stuff down there – storage containers for under the bed and other miscellaneous items. He will have to navigate past all of these things until he finds the one spot that is somehow directly underneath me.

After much shuffling, all is quiet. It starts quietly and becomes louder. Again, the licking. This time he has secured himself in a position where I certainly can’t give him a nudge to knock it off. Lick, lick, lick, slurp, lick, slurp.

By this time the cat is pounding on the bedroom door. This causes Sparky to come out from under the bed if for no other reason than to protect his now empty water dish. The cat comes in, the dish is watered, everyone drinks and now it is finally time for Sparky to return to the great outdoors. The rain has stopped and birds may or may not be within reach in that pine tree. Life is good for another 18 or so hours.

In non related to Sparky things – check this out:


Glenn is spelled with two “N’s”. Why not three? Does the added N emphasize anything? In A Christmas Story, we were worried that the kid would shoot his eye out. In Glenn’s story, he shoots his mouth off.

One response

  1. …and this is why the pets DO NOT sleep with me.

    April 15, 2013 at 3:53 pm

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