Friday 5.24.13

The (new) Greatest Story Ever Told.

It all started way way back when I probably was not paying attention anyway. Thanks to social networking and communicating people are in touch – even if they are not actually touching each other. You like this or that or you see something interesting so of course, you post it on Facebook or Pinterest. Someone sees this great idea and shares it forward.

Every once in a while someone actually wants to take action and DO the thing in the picture or MAKE the thing in the picture instead of just “liking” it. This was the actual case in my very own home just recently. The players in this GSET part deux (not the Jesus story) are my spouse, a former co-worker of said spouse. Secondary players are myself and son of said spouse. I suppose the very minor player in the story is said co-worker’s Granddaughter. Here’s the run down:

Former co-worker sees a great idea somewhere using an old grill. Not something someone spit out, not that kind of grill… not that there are no secondary uses for such a thing but in this case we are talking about something you use to cook tasty meats and vegetables. Former co-worker plants things. The great idea she witnessed somehow used an old grill as a potting stand or table. Cool idea and a way to recycle some old stuff into something useful. At some point in social network history, said spouse informed former co-worker that we, in fact, had an old grill.

Former co-worker lives about 65 miles away… in an adjoining state. She does visit this area from time to time when her Granddaughter has a school function. The Granddaughter lives about 10 or so miles from us. So… SCORE! She could pick it up on one of these trips and get to plantin’! I was informed about this great idea and was asked to pull the grill off of the back porch, maybe clean it up a bit and get it ready for this woman to pick up on THURSDAY, MAY 16 AT 6:00PM. No problemo… I’m one helpful individual. I cleaned it up a bit and wheeled it over to the front side of the house. I was ready to help load around that 6pm time slot and then I had to go back to the shop to take some pictures before 7.

Former co-worker was late. Then, former co-worker seemed to be a no-show. I asked if said spouse had heard anything from former co-worker. Nope. Nothing. Eventually, I left to take pictures. When I came home later, the grill was still there. Said spouse had heard nothing at all from former co-worker. I did not feel like storing this non-working dust collector (grill) back on the porch. Friday came and I thought that perhaps I would just stick a “FREE” sign on it and haul it out near the curb. I did just that.

The neighbor asked said spouse about it. The neighbor was not interested after hearing that burner parts needed to be replaced to make this thing grill once more. It sat on the curb. I moved it to mow. I adjusted the “free” sign. Sunday came.

Sunday afternoon we attended my granddaughter’s dance recital. It was action packed and somehow they managed to cram 17 hours of dancing into 4 hour long adventure. Driving up the street blurry eyed from all of that dancing (by he way, my granddaughter waved at me during her routine. Her Mom was a little pissed but I considered it to be completely awesome) I noticed that the grill was missing. The “FREE” sign had done the job! No idea who got it or what they plan to do with it but it was out of the yard and out of my hair.

Until Thursday, May 23.

Said spouse and son of said spouse had planned a Seattle trip to visit family. I delivered people to the airport. In the process of that delivery, the phone of said spouse began to ring. What I heard on my end was a lot of “Oh, my god! That was today? Oh, NO! I’m on my way to the airport right now! I’m so sorry!” It was former co-worker lost in our little town and looking for our house. Somehow, dates were wrong. She could come and get it (the now no longer my problem grill) another time when we were home. Here’s where the GSET becomes the GSET:

While said spouse was on the phone talking to former co-worker, never did I hear any words like “Oh, wow… my husband hauled it to the curb and someone picked it up.” I was troubled, interested and confused as well as slightly amazed. That’s a lot at the same time. Said spouse had said nothing about the grill being gone. Said spouse absolutely KNEW that the grill was gone but somehow this never entered into the conversation on the phone. Said spouse seemed to indicate that once she was back from Seattle, something could be arranged. The phone call ended and I was told who it was. I asked why said spouse did not tell former co-worker that the grill was gone. “I just blanked out” or something like that is what I think I heard. (saying that this is what I think I heard is a tricky method used to give a general idea about something without being 100% accurate… something I learned by reading a book by Glenn Beck on gun control)(oh yeah, he’s one tricky bastard)(I don’t actually know if he is an actual “bastard” though.)

It was at this moment that I witnessed a devious side of said spouse I had never really seen before. Perhaps I was just not paying attention. Said spouse was figuring out ways to tell this former co-worker that the grill was gone… “It was out in the yard and someone picked it up.” Ok, who? Why? How did that happen? Was it stolen? Who would steal your old grill? What kind of a place do you live in? Lots of crime in your neighborhood? Did you notify the authorities?

“I’ll tell her that my husband put it out on the curb and someone picked it up.” “I won’t tell her about the “FREE” sign my husband placed on it.” Said spouse was disturbed, shaken, beside herself. I’m sure that son of said spouse was just wishing we would shut the hell up about the stupid grill.

Personally, I thought it was the absolute most entertaining part of my day. Oh the suspense! How would said spouse get out of this one!? Well, said spouse got out of it by sending an email to former co-worker saying that we no longer have the grill. (I don’t know for sure how I got blamed for this but I’m sure I did and willingly take on the moniker of total asshole because this is what you do for said spouse)

So… next time you “like” or re-pin something you see online… know that there just might be a story behind that image.

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