Black Friday. Missed it on purpose. I saw a few images and videos on the news and felt great about not taking part.
Hang on, that’s not what I wanted to write about. I almost deflected myself! I live with someone who is the all time master of deflection. When I’m a complete ass, I am not asked to not be a complete ass. Oh no! I’m asked if I have eaten or taken ibuprofen today. “Have you taken any Ibuprofen today?” is now code for “you know, you are really being a complete ass right now and I wish you would stop.”
When the kids were younger and would have their extroverted moments, they would be asked to “take a breath.”
The house could have been on fire. There could have been a limb missing. No matter the measure of the catastrophe, “take a breath” was the first response. Saying “take a breath” does a couple of things. 1. it gives you time to assess the situation. 2. it deflects the attention away from the immediate problem.
Let’s take a look at number 2. IF the distressed individual would actually stop to take that breath, he or she might also have the opportunity to wonder just how in the fuck “taking a breath” is going to solve anything. One might also wonder whether or not the person who requested the breath is aware that NOT taking a breath for very long usually results in death and that the human body just kind of does this without reminders of any kind. If the distressed person considers these things, the result could be 1. Deflection… what was I upset about? 2. That is the most ridiculous response to my immediate problem. I can’t believe that you would think that taking a breath would solve anything at all and now I’m really upset that you would think that you can get me to forget about whatever it was that was bothering me by suggesting that I take a breath… what was I upset about? Fuck. You deflected me again.
So, “take a breath” could be code for “just calm the fuck down.” Once you get a handle on how the code thing works, you start to see it in other places.
Here is an example:
Here’s the thing, Scott… she worked for YOU on YOUR campaign.
1. Aren’t you responsible for what these people do… especially when they are working on YOUR behalf?
2. If you are not responsible for what YOUR people are doing, who knows what the hell is going on at all?
3. Christ, take a fucking breath.